Know What You Are Living For

Eons before the euro-asians drifted down and populated India and those countries, a native people were flourishing in what is now called Africa.  Traces of their temples are still found in dark jungles, now the repository of chimps and other sort.  They were killed by the tribesmen whom you now see as the survivors of Africa.  The natives who were killed used their killers as fond pets.  Those pets however wanted the wealth and the cleverness of the temple builders.  The temple builders were killed one by one ritualistically and since they were eternal, they didn't breed. When the last one died, Africa turned to cannibalism and the ritualisitc enslavement of their own kind. 

Isn't nice dear.  I bet Paris was everything I remember it.  I remember walking down Champs Elysees and shopping.  I remeber the fountain at night, starlight striking it and my totally being immersed in that great city.  I remember walking and walking to the Eiffel Tower and stopping a strange man to ask him how to get there and his chiding me in English to cross the bridge.  I want a replica of the Eiffel Tower to match the Matisse in the family room which also by the way now boasts of an eight foot tall white Christmas tree.  Be strong dear, it's only when you get to be old that you can be weak and still write.

Events make us what we are.  In August 16, 1999 when I was struck by a truck in Struthers, Ohio, and then mauled by the driver, I suffered a brain stem injury.  The assailamt was covered by the Struthers Police Officer named David Gabriel.  He never charged her for striking a stopped car waiting at a traffic signal.  He ridiculed me because I had bruises on my face and he said, "Did she really hit you?"

In Judge Lanzo's courtroom the justice I got was to be told to hit.  She was covered because she was executing a contract to follow me and to intimidate me from taking to court family members who had forged my signature on company papers and were buying off judges and lawyes like hucksters trying to get clients.  They were covered in court by a badge name of Gordon L Johnson who accused me first of being a whore because I dropped a lawyer who was friends with his wife, Joe W Gardner.  He then accused me of being insane.  He then accused me of calling the police to report a theft.  He neglects to mention that I am married and if there are any whores it would have to be the attorney's wife who frequents him when his wife isnt there.  Or , it might be your own aunt Diane.  What whore wouldn't like Diane's luck?  Or, it might be Sam Agellatos of Florida who claimed to be the walking corpse of Demetrius Lykas.  I was struck by a truck and mauled by the driver who was paid and is being covered by her clients.  She didnt get charged because she says that I asked her if she was a whore.  I have a list of whores.  Your mother zoe and you are not whores.  We are the victims of whores and there world baiting pimpsl  Am i allowed to say that in print..  I have had these names of reall assailants acting as BIG BROTHER hitting, attacking forging, ridiculing, without being charged and protected by some secret organization.  I say that their thieving filthy attorney Joseph W Gardner and his whore Maryann Thomas Gardner given protection to make Hiteler and his concentration camps small time should find this blog and sue us.  I know it's being read.

 The sea was having fun in the twilight of the sun.

    Father, do you beckon?  My mind Yearns to

   Relinquish years of childish chains and reason.

   Father if only you had not thrown us aside at

    Birth, made us leaves your wide cool breast, forced

    Us on to Mother to Feed and rest, treating us like guests,  Fearing your anger, welcoming your mirth. 

   i  could join you if you swear a giant fin would soon appear.  At the touch of water, I Would again be your daughter.   It would be sad, I think, to release myself only to find Sinking   Like a boulder, deep into your bowels, meat for salmon and lovely trout.

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I looked back at some photos taken in 1971 when I travelled to Italy with a group of college kids from Iowa.  Venice doesn't appear in any of my pictures, but I know I was there.  I remember that the canals are not everywhere, you can walk on the streets of Venice and discover the most romantic tiffany glass.

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Now, don't ever jump when someone says Now unless you have prearranged it and are planning a high jump or something.  Actually, dear, the one thing you do not want to do is to carry a grudge.  A grudge is a simple thing.  It can start with a grilfriend who is online with you and talking to a boy like Eric whom you liked.  She might have been the back stabbing kind and although she has a boy in town she is envious of you even talking to one HEAVEN FORBID she sets you up with that boy and now you passively ignore her failed yet she tried attempt.  Doesn't work.  Resentments are not to be tolerated since they breed an lack of balance in your thinking processes.  If you'd like to hear more, post a comment.

Actually, darlin, I was ever so relieved to read your comment.  Left you a note in your email, think it's about time you started making blogs here.  speaking of being funny, there was this fbi agent who was assigned to investigate an abusive husband.  He, instead, investigated the abused wife cause she was rich.  Her family especially her sister told him straight faced, she was killed by her husband cause he strangled her.  He went back to the dead woman and sat and had a nice chat with her.  Finish it.

www.blackwell.co.uk/jsp/welcome.jsp?source=1189552829&isbn=1432705172 

At a time of social manners was it a crime to physically abuse a maid?  Depends.  If the perpetrator was a Sir, and the victim a serf who would prosecute the offense?  Social manners were evolved in England out of necessity.  The monied class required veiled speech and exaggerated manners evidenced in their white stockinged men wearing more powder on their heads than their women wore on their faces and blatant weilding of force in place of justice.  They sanctioned their society as being ordained by God. And, if ordained by God, how dare you...Why was their such blanket acceptance of the almost intollerable?  In France, the Revolution did away with the heads of many of these Godly abusers, but in merry old England. dont know guess you gotta ask the English.

As my contribution to national abuse awareness day, let me head this essay with the warning that I am a state licensed clinical mental health couselor.  My license was the problem when I callously brought to the carpet a very politically and secret agent like person who was abusing his own child.  To exonerate that covered abuser I was made to appear insane myself and a forced complicity by all agencies was pronounced. Now, let's talk about abuse.

An abuser has three weapons, Secrecy, Lack of Acknowledgement, and Social Acceptance.  He has three great fears.  Revelation in the public arena, Graphic Proof of his behavior in public, and scorn.

I hope dear that your earache is all better.  And, I guess spending all your money the first week that you are studying in Oxford is what you want.  But I was thinking more that you should take some time to think about your actions.  You are a historical religious student.  Orthodoxy means right action.  Ortho  dohia  As a practicing Orthodox your primary goal in reaching the heigth of Orthodoxy is to strive for the truth.  I am going to go off on one of my tangents because that is the only way that you know this is me Zoe, your mother.  Say for example I wrote a blurb on wordsy.com about the canterbury tales.  The site opens up on a monk sitting on a donkey and pointing to the left.  Immediately on my yahoo front page Bill O'Reilly is shown with his finger in the air pointing at all of us.  That type of twisting the truth and daring people to be incredulous is not Orthodoxy it isn't even sane. 

You are in England.  You are not home.  I am not going to go into any diatribe as to your actions.  I know who I raised.  A marvelous deeply intelligent human being who can at times be the unwilling pawn of unscrupulous abusers like Bill O Reilly.  And, if he reads this , I dare him to challenge me to my face.  You do not have to stand for abusers whether they be truth twisting lawyers, thieving uncles and manipulating cousins.  You really have only one obligation to yourself and I trust that you will find yourself amongst all those lovely backdrops of Arthurian legend, you have heard of the Knights of the Round Table haven't you?  They're real. 

and oh, by the way, if you need another credit card go to http://NoraAnthony.NewCreditApplications.com  and tell them I sent you.

Go to http://dikissi.squarespace.com  and post some comments.  all suggestions accepted without prejudice to the suggestor.

Read your message bout being ill and yes, I thought I reminded you of your old congestion problem  Your ears always gave me a problem when we lived in Florida.  Isn't that just like a mom, you were ill and I had the problem.  What I would do after taking you to the pediatrician was to heat till touchable but warm a bit of olive oil, then with a cotton ball, swab the inner part of you ear and gently squeeze a few drops into the ear.  pain should clear up nicely. 

Jane Eyre, Zoe, was scandalous at the time for quite a few obvious reasons.  Think about them separate from your socio-American upbringing.  First, she is a heroine who is not of the same class as her lover.  I will try to call if you tell me when and promise to be there when I do .  But really, since I am switching phone companies I might be able to call you at your home if you give me their number.  I sent you something to be delivered on the 27th BE THERE.

LOVE you,

Mom

as a help to you, bebaki, you can go to http://friendly.newcreditapplications.com   and guess what,

apply for any card you like except for Macy's dear.  I never liked them, reminded me too much of your uncle Tony's wife, you know the one who taught us all how to use another identity and actually get away with it.  More to say on the topic later.  ciao

Dear, you called but didn't leave a voice.  Funny,huh, I was called the voice.  Years ago, I first heard my voice on Miss Carano's, the speech therapists, recorder.  I asked her, "Whose beautiful voice is that."  She beamed like the moon last night a jolly big oval moon, yours, she said, softly.  Truthfully our voice changes, mine has.

Love,

Mom

Dear was there something wrong with your phone you sounded like someone I ran into years ago outside of Publix.  You remember where your dad used to work.  Left you a message at zoe@zoominternet.net .  Try to be a good girl and cheer up living in jolly old England at the outrageous Oxford campus cant be all that grievous.

I got accepted as an affliliate for blackwell's and for a few really nice shops.  Its just that adding the link is impossible.

You wont believe what Ive been up to.  I actually am learning to put ads and stuff on my websites .  It's keeping me from cleaning the house, do you remember ever cleaning the house?  It's a mess and I have never been as complacent bout it.  Guess what?  I decided when you called me and informed that you had studied for four hours at clockwell bookstore that you must have meant Blackwell's the biggest bookstore in the world and the main source for Oxford's students to get lost in.  I visited them online and I could have lived there for a week or longer. Do they have a snack bar there?  Love, Mom

Oh, excuse me how is the weather in Oxford?  Bet you have looked at this webpage but found the picture of you daddy and me a bit painful.  We were a family once werem't we?  We  are a family.  It's just that I am who I am and dont ever forget that. 

Good morning, Zoe, I called you at 8 o clock my time and probably 2 o clock your time.  Your mobile wasn't on.  I was secretly hoping it wasn't since I really don't know what to talk about to you anymore.  I love you. 

Zoe that is the girl sitting on my lap, my daughter, is at this moment in Oxfox University.  The centuries old retreat of mortals seeking to find common ground with others of their kind to explore, to relax, to find peace with others of equal mind set has obviously not lost its power for Zoe is completely mesmerized.  I spent two weeks in London once years ago.

Hi Zoe,

Mommy here wants to know what you did with my laptop?  You know the expensive laptop that you forced yourself to use at school.  The one that you callously dropped for a smaller. thinner model.  You see pet, I followed your suggestion and flagged a cable guy who was disconnecting Jerry's cable from across the street.  Guess what?  I asked him and he was gracious enough to update my dsl into wireless.  I now can have internet in every room in the house unlike my dish which would need a box in every room or a cord.  Do I sound selfish, dear.  Well, London, I'm sorry.  Dearest, how is the city of the angels?  If you get a chance look up at Big Ben and jot down the exact time to the minute for me.  Post here and we can save on the international one price for no matter how many minutes to no matter where in the world rate.

Love you,Mom

You can wish for good things and not feel intimidated by those who are expecting good things only for themselves.  The world of nature is finite but the world of the heart is infinite.  Go ahead and make a wish and if you like tell me about it.